Belief Systems and Achieving Your Goals-What’s the Connection?
ByDid you know that you were born with only two fears? It’s true. I’ll tell you what they are a little later, but for now knowing that all your fears except for two, were taught to you by others can be a shocking revelation. If you were to write a list of your fears right now you could study them one at a time and see if you could recall the very first time you felt that fear. It’s a very revealing and helpful exercise.
Let’s look at fear of success. Did you, as a child, perhaps want to put up a lemonade stand on the sidewalk in front of your home, but when you asked if you could do it you were met with remarks such as “No one wants to buy lemonade from kids”, or “You won’t make any money that way”, “Or why would you want to do that, every kid does that.”
Or you may have asked for an artist’s easel and oil paints for a birthday gift and received a response such as “Why don’t you start with some paper and a paint box because it won’t be such a waste when you quit using them, you know you don’t stick at anything for very long.”
I know, I know, you read those words now and you think how devastating they would be for a child, how damaging. And if you are now a parent your mind is doing a swift back peddle trying to remember if you have ever said such a thing to one of your children. Oh, the guilt you could cook up! Well, that’s for another column but for now just know that every normal parent says and does things that in hindsight they regret. And most do better once they know better. The motivation behind their actions, believe it or not, is protection. They want to protect you from disappointment and hurt and inadvertently they cause it. And it’s not just parents, its teachers, sports coaches, siblings, friends, anybody.
So, what to do now? How can you overcome your fear of success, or failure, or feeling not good enough, or fear of not doing things right the first time, or not being perfect, ad infinitum. All of which, can stop you faster than a freight train when it comes to choosing, establishing and attaining your goals.
Look hard at your belief systems. Which ones are serving you and which ones are not? It’s time to turf the ones which are not. I’m not kidding, picture yourself picking one up and dropping it off a cliff so high you can’t see the bottom. And now replace it with a belief that serves you well. Just as in an instant, the remark made to you as a child undermined your feelings of worth and ability, you can, in an instant, replace that remark with it’s opposite. By doing this you have immediately changed your energy surrounding your belief.
It’s just way too hard to keep up the old belief systems! You have to skew truths into untruths just to support what you need to believe about yourself in order to believe the belief system that does not serve you and keeps you stuck! Whooooa, way to complicated and way too much wasted energy.
Alright now, screw up your courage and do the following:
- Identify the belief systems that don’t serve you well
- Dump them off the cliff
- Replace them with their opposite energy using your thoughts
- Repeat those new belief system thoughts even if you don’t believe them at first
- Repeat some more, write them down, visualize you doing them. Great! The energy is building.
- Choose a goal, see it as already accomplished (in this way you have just ‘set’ it)
- Ask for help to support yourself
Oh, those two fears we are born with? Fear of falling and loud noises.
In my book “Inspirational Goaling” http://www.inspirationalgoaling.com there is an entire chapter dedicated to belief systems with workbook exercises for you to do to increase your knowledge of belief systems and how they affect your goals.
Here’s a suggestion:
In Change Your Beliefs, Change Your Life, Dr. Nick Hall shows you how to recognize the impact your beliefs have on your life. The important thing is to know where any given belief comes from and understand how and why you internalized it – especially if it’s a belief you want to change. You also need to recognize those beliefs you’ve been suppressing or ignoring – beliefs that have become habits or beliefs that are preventing you from getting the most out of your life.
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Article written by Lynn Moore
Lynn – You are one of those people who write exactly as you speak. I can see your personality shining through your words. So great!
And what you wrote — so true. Fear is paralytic, and it kills our goals and dreams. But it’s something you can get past, and your tips are fantastic for doing just that. Thanks! – Carmen
Carmen@GetOrganized´s last blog ..Get Organized: How to Simplify Anything
Carmen, I don’t even think about writing any other way, so I’m pleased you recognized that! Many thanks for commenting.
Lynn
Lynn, I love the image of the cliff with no bottom! I have several fears and beliefs that I’ll be throwing over! And I’m very excited about creating new belief systems — thanks for this great new tool!
All best,
Grace Heer
Gemstone Coaching
Mine the Jewels Within You!
Atta girl, Grace! Just chuck ‘em over!
Lynn
p.s. More great ways to learn about belief systems in my book
Wow! Outstanding information. I don’t want anything to hold me back from the greatness I deserve and know I can have. I see some ‘chucking’ in the near future.
Dr. Robert Fenell
So glad to hear it Dr. Bob! Spring clean the belief system.
Lynn
Goals Coaching with Lynn Moore´s last blog ..Belief Systems and Achieving Your Goals-What’s the Connection?
I love the idea of ‘roof-testing’ those limiting beliefs. Time for a little spring cleaning…
I’ll hold the ladder!
Get Clear Goals with Lynn Moore´s last blog ..Belief Systems and Achieving Your Goals-What’s the Connection?
This is a great reminder Lynn to work on your mind! Whatever we “believe”happens…it’s a good time to see what I’m manifesting and change my beliefs accordingly.
Robin
Way to go Robin!
I never knew that loud noises were a fear, but I sure know I react to them! Your article is a great help to people who have limiting beliefs. It is SO worth it to stretch and get them out of your way.
Sue Painter
Lynn,
I love how your remind people to push past thoughts of doubt that may have been planted in childhood. This is so important and you do a great job of illustrating that.
Write on!~
Lisa
Lynn!! We are both shining our light on fear this week. Here’s a link to my newsletter on this very topic: http://www.katherineche.com/fl079.aspx
I believe that fear is a part of our Divine Guidance System, our emotions, which is there to let us know when we are on track and seeing things from our True Wisdome or not. (Fear is in the “not” category!!) XOXO,
Katherine?
Life Blossoming Systems
Katherine you are so correct when you say we have that Divine Guidance System. It’s the GPS in the vehicle of life. No fear ‘brakes’ to stop us, just a periwinkle accelerator! So happy we had a Divine intuition to write about the same subject!
Lynn
Thank you Lisa! Sometimes we can be our own therapist! Thanks for your commnet
Lynn
Hi Katherine, You are so correct when you say fear is part of our Divine Guidance System! It’s like a GPS system on the vehicle of life; no fear-brakes to stop us only a periwinkle accelerator! How great that we both had the Divine intuition to write on the same subject today!
Lynn
Lisa, sometimes we can ge our own therapists! Saves time anyway. Thanks for your comment,
Lynn
Sue I was surprised about the ‘loud noises’ fear too, but when I see a new baby startle, fling her arms and legs out and start to cry when hearing a loud noise, I believe it. It’s one of those fears we don’t worry about like we do about doing something the wrong way or not being liked and accepted, or not having enough money. As for fear of falling maybe this is why we have dreams of our beds going off a cliff with us in it! Thanks Sue
Lynn
Great information Lynn! When I feel fear the next time I will stop long enough to evaluate the possible source and confront it for what it truly is.
Kiyla Fenell
Lynn,
Thanks for bringing up this topic. The fears one has left unaddressed are like quicksand to their progress.
Mitch Tublin´s last blog ..Entrepreneurs Find Inspiration From Sports
I hadn’t heard it put that way before, but I really like! Thanks Mitch
Lynn
Good for you Kiyla! Knowing where a fear comes from dispels it immediately. Thanks for your comment.
Lynn
Lynn – When are you going to start selling periwinkle accelerators on your site?!?
Great post and so true. We come into this world willing to try and go for almost anything, yet we have that beaten out of us (mostly) in the name of conformity and playing it safe from early childhood through the beginning of our professional careers. The saying that most entrepreneurs are 6 inches away from amazing success is so true…that space between our temples is what holds us back!
Best,
Phil
Phil Dyer´s last blog ..Enter the Entrepreneurial “No Fear” Zone…
Love the ‘space between the temples’ Phil. Taking back our lives from limiting or false beliefs started for me when I became an entrepreneur. It’s the best way to become exposed to the info and people that will show you the way
Lynn
PS I’m workin’ on the periwinkle thingee.